When Forgiving Is Hard

Bearing with one another and,
if one has a complaint against another,
forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you,
so you also must forgive.
Colossians 3:13

Forgiveness. Something we so freely receive from God, but when it’s our turn… why can it be so hard?

In Matthew 18, Jesus teaches on forgiveness in a very simple way.

Peter asks, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times” and Jesus answers, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” He also earlier warns us in Matthew 6:15, “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” It’s a sobering reminder to us that forgiveness is serious business to God — because it’s at the heart of the Gospel, as God forgave us.

And though I cannot say for sure when we are to forgive, or when your tender heart is ready to have that conversation or even entertain the thought, I do know one thing: we need to forgive. When we are withholding forgiveness towards someone, we need to remember that we too, have sinned greatly. But He forgave us, and so we must forgive others too.

With that in mind, it’s worth remembering that if someone has done wrong to you, forgiving them doesn’t mean you’re excusing them for what they did. Forgiving the person does not mean that you let them “get away with it” either. Instead, it means letting go; and not letting it have a hold onto you anymore. Forgiveness can not only hinder your relationship with God greatly, it can also rot your soul: You become bitter. Resentful. Your heart becomes burdened. You become angry. And that is not a fun nor healthy place to be.

When you forgive, you don’t actually need to do much, except bring it to the Lord. Then allow God to work in your heart and heal from the injustice and wrongdoing against you. You don’t need to have the conversation with the one(s) who wronged you. This is an inner work between yourself, your heart, the Lord. I believe you can forgive others from a distance — I believe that you can even forgive someone who has no idea they hurt you!

Ultimately, it’s also an act of faith: when we tell God we forgive that person, we tell God that He is greater than what we feel, and we trust Him to transform, renew and heal us. If you’re in need of forgiving someone but it’s seems too hard, take that leap of faith. Don’t be afraid to go to Him! Sister, let God heal you from your hurts by forgiving.

Forgive, as He has forgiven you.